The MarySue Experiment: Pokemon
by KatonRyu
Summary: My Sue character Ryu travels through all the Pokemon regions. What kind of people will he meet? What kind of adventures will he embark on? Rated M for language and violence


**This is about the third time I edit this note. Why? Well, it contained an explanation that is no longer valid, and it contained something that could be defined as script, namely co-hosting. I'll still do that; I'll just find another way to do it. Anyway, since I don't want the LU to report me on this crack fic I've removed the script style, and I'll also refrain from Q&As in the story itself. Meaning, if you want to know something you'll have to PM me. **

**Anyway, what is this story about? This is a crack fic. For me, it's a way to vent excess imagination without the usual constraints of logic holding me back. There are no rules in this story, since my character is pretty much all-powerful. The plot, if it can be called that, is undefined as of yet. I'll travel through all the regions of the Pokémon world, interacting with people known from the anime or games. For now, that's pretty much it.**

**I write this fic for more than just self-indulgence. I also write it as a parody on Mary-Sues. In any event, I'll hereby introduce the main character, Ryu. Since I can't use script format at all, I'll do it this way: normal writing is me talking, italics is Ryu.**

**Hi there.**

_**What's up?**_

**So, what's it like being in your own fic for once?**

_**It's about time. You deleted all the other stories I was in, you dick.**_

**I did that to clean up my list. You're too much of a plot hole. Yes, your very existence is a plot hole. Oh well, whatever. Don't expect me to be serious or rational. You may flame me if you wish to do so, but since this story isn't meant to be taken seriously, the use of that is dubious at best. If you wish to flame me and have me care and/or act upon it, kindly read one of my other stories. Anyway, enjoy this sarcastic trip through the Pokémon universe.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon or any of its characters. I only own Ryu and Mewtwo's OOC personality.**

"Ah, another flawless victory for me," I said as my opponent recalled his Pokémon, despair on his face.

"You mean for me," Mewtwo said bluntly. "I did all the work while you just stood there."

I sweatdropped. "Thanks for the reminder," I said sourly. Mewtwo has a habit of bringing me down from my looming fortress of awesomeness.

My name, as you might know, is Ryu. I'm the most kickass person on this planet, trust me. I have collected a fuckton of Pokémon, and everyone aspires to be me, a.k.a. the greatest Trainer of all time.

I walked over to the Trainer I had just annihilated.

"It's no big deal. One day you'll beat me," I told him.

Aside from being the greatest person alive, I am also incredibly modest. Really, no one more humble than yours truly.

The guy looked up at me and said, "You really think so?"

I could see the hope in his eyes and was about to give him some words of encouragement, when Mewtwo interrupted.

"No. You're a talentless hack who will never amount to anything. Ryu thinks so too but he likes to play with people's minds," my strongest Psychic-type said to the Trainer.

I rolled my eyes. "Way to break his heart, you dick," I said.

Mewtwo flashed a cheesy grin. "Hey, he was stupid enough to challenge you even though he's been a Trainer for all of five minutes."

True. The kid had indeed been colossally stupid in challenging me with his Bulbasaur, which he had received from Professor Oak mere minutes before.

"Still, we have to at least act like decent people. I want to be admired, not hated," I told Mewtwo.

Mewtwo rolled his eyes. "Right, of course…"

I turned to the kid again. "Don't mind Mewtwo. He's just a bit blunt sometimes," I said, smiling.

The kid nodded skeptically. "Sure…" he said, giving me the fish-eye.

I sighed. This wasn't going well.

"Mewtwo, kindly modify his memory and make him think I'm awesome again," I said.

Mewtwo grinned. "Now you're talking."

His eyes glowed blue and the glow surrounded the kid. A second later, it vanished again.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"I'm fine. Thanks for the battle! You're really the best for taking time to fight someone like me," the kid said, his eyes now wide and filled with wonder again.

I grinned, not so much at the praise but the fact that Mewtwo's powers had once again done their job. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how often I have to resort to doing stuff like that. You'd almost say I'm not that likeable…but that's just silly, of course.

I recalled Mewtwo and left the kid to worship me in solitude. I was in Pallet Town, the town where I'd started my own journey years ago.

I'd chosen a Squirtle, because I believed Water-types were the best. I still do, by the way. Water-types learn Ice-type moves, or at least they have the ability to learn them. That makes them powerful against Grass-types as well, so rivals are never a problem. That concludes my lesson on choosing a starter. I'll give you this first awesome hint for free, but any subsequent advice will cost you.

Anyway, I was now no longer a kid leaving with his first Pokémon. Now I was the greatest Trainer ever, with a collection of over three hundred different kinds of Pokémon and Gym Badges from all over the world. I'd decided to take a trip, on foot, through all the regions and revisit old places…and of course to meet more people who would gladly follow my every command.

I started walking, thinking about important matters. For instance, I found that my name, Ryu, was not awesome enough. Perhaps I should change it to Badass McAwesome or something. Surely such a name would be more fitting for someone as great as me.

As I began to ponder where I could find a city hall here (or indeed anywhere in this world for that matter) so that I could get my name legally changed, I ran into Professor Oak, the world's leading authority on Pokémon research. Or, you know, that's what I let him believe. It goes without saying that I actually know much more.

"Ryu! Imagine seeing you here," Oak said, clearly surprised to see me, the second coming of Christ, standing in front of him.

"I thought I'd take a little trip," I said, as if that explained anything whatsoever.

"I see. Have you met Joshua, by any chance?" the Professor asked.

I blinked stupidly. "Joshua?" I repeated.

Mewtwo, the smug bastard, released himself from his Ball and said, "The kid you destroyed."

Oak sweatdropped. "I…assume you've met him," he said with a forced smile.

I flashed a grin. "He was very happy to have gotten the chance to fight me," I said. I didn't mention I had to modify his memory for that.

I wondered idly if all that zapping of people's brains would cause any lasting damage.

"I'm sure he was…" Oak said with a blank look on his face.

Now it was my turn to sweatdrop.

"How come people always give me that look before I ask you to zap them?" I asked Mewtwo.

"I take it you want this conversation erased?" Mewtwo asked, not even bothering to answer my rhetorical question.

His eyes glowed blue for the second time within ten minutes, and the Professor forgot this awkward moment.

Like I said, I have to erase way too many memories. Being awesome is hard work. But hey, someone has to do it, right? And who better to be awesome than me? After all, I did save the world on numerous occasions.

Okay, so this world needs saving on a daily basis and saving it is about as noteworthy as tying your shoelaces, but still.

I said goodbye to the Professor and headed for Route 1. When I reached the borders of Pallet Town and saw the long grass ahead, I wondered why no one ever bothered to mow it. I mean, this was supposed to be a road, not a jungle. Even so, I grinned. As memories of the start of my journey flashed before my eyes, I set out to start my journey once again.

**So, there it is. The first chapter of my trip through the regions. I can't say when the next one will be up, but I assure you it will be…someday. Anyway, see you later!**


End file.
